Stilling myself on the cushion gives rise to greater awareness of the physical condition of my body in this moment, from the tightness and tension of my muscles to the state of my breathing. As I settle on the cushion, or some days a chair because I am already aware of the need for greater support, I begin to scan my body to identify the presence of tension and sometimes this simple practice of scanning the body brings an immediate and automatic softening and settling in a more relaxed stance. This was not always automatic, in fact I recall early days of sitting meditation where I had no awareness of my body and all my focus and attention was in the mind. 

            The practice of mindfulness meditation and training in the foundations of mindfulness through MBSR, taught me the skill of deepening my awareness of the body by examining each part one by one, moment to moment. Through practice and receiving instruction I developed the ability to use attention on the body to change the state of tension, literally the mind can simply invite the body to release tension and soften one little bit at a time. It is here that I discovered the power I have to release stress with my mind. As I continued the self-study of my body, from toes to nose, I discovered the places where I stored years of tension and stress and dug grooves of deeply entrenched postures meant to “hold it together”. Despite the natural tendency for humans to tense in reaction to perceived threat or danger, we are not meant to hold onto this tension for a lifetime and I for one have no intention to hold onto the baggage I accumulated thus far. I have learned to attend to the sensations of breathe with greater ease and by focusing attention on breathing in and breathing out, the thoughts that often generate worry thoughts and strong emotions will fade into the background or quiet and for some time even cease. These practices have taught me a way to peace, even in the midst of a stressful life.

         There are other activities where I become acutely aware of the stress held in my body, such as when I go for a massage or when I practice yoga or other forms of movement and self-care.  The combination of bringing mindful attention to these activities facilitates an even deeper release, making way for detoxifying stress and reprograming my body’s natural resting state. For example, as I lay on the massage table, Hansa moves her hands to various places of tension and when she discovers the knots of tension and digs in deeper, I take a deep breath and exhale releasing the body’s natural reaction of tightening and tensing to her touching those tenders spots. I remain focused on the places she is massaging and communicate with the muscles inviting them to soften and allow the release. This ability to cocreate greater healing, restoration, and wellness allows me to program into my mind-body connection a way home after getting pulled back into a stress reaction cycle by coming home to my body and slowly unwinding the knots from within. 

          Using a combination of practices, on and off the cushion, I continue to develop a varied toolbox that allows me to be flexible and listen to the needs of my mind-body each day. Some days I need a more active practice, others a more relaxing one, and then there are some days I need a mix of both activating and relaxing practices to facilitate the balancing of energies and help me return to a center point. The choices are infinite and the wise choice always begins with awareness and attuning to my body. 

Start off your day with a checking in ritual to determine the current conditions of the mind and body:

1. Notice the overall quality of energy in the body: restless, agitated, relaxed, depleted.

2. Scan the body for the quality of ease or discomfort in various places throughout the body.

3. Notice the activity level of the mind: busy, tranquil.

4. Notice any strong emotions: anxiety, sadness, anger, contentment.

After gathering data of current conditions take a few minutes to do some guided self inquiry by asking yourself what you most need to support greater mindfulness. ease, balance, and wellbeing? 

A walk? Stretching? Sitting meditation, contemplation, or prayer? A run? Yoga? A guided meditation practice? A meal? 

Making this inquiry your own and listening to the body to sense the response, perhaps even visualizing to help the body sense what it would be like to engage in the activity, to complete the activity, and paying close attention to not allow the mind to choose. This is a practice in and of itself so take your time with cultivating this type of inquiry and check in after you engage in a chosen activity to see if it was wise.

Choose well and live at ease,

Patty

Lately I’ve been experiencing moments of joy from unknown origins. Many times through the years when there seemed to be one test after another, I truly thought joy and happiness were mine no longer.  At times, my happiness seemed to just be moments of reprieve or a lifting of sorrow.  Or I’d have a fabulous experience and believe it was the experience that brought me what I was longing for—instead of realizing the experience had given a moment of silence from the constantly tracking & comparing mind. Joy is an upwelling, not an outward achievement (although it can seem that way). Joy is not about getting; joy is a state of being. 

After years of studying consciousness, my teacher said to me “it’s time for you to practice being happy.”  I had no idea what he was talking about. “Isn’t happiness something that occurs naturally?” I thought.  Actually, he was right. I had had too many years of constriction and challenge, and had gotten out of the habit of making room for simple joy and happiness. What had changed?  For starters I had stopped fighting what was—and let me tell you that was no easy task! I had let go of guilt and blame for the pain of my child, my choices, my fate, my naiveté, my unawareness and frankly for the choices in both my formative years and later in life.  As Maya Angelou said,  “you may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” I had to stop looking over the fence and assuming that life was better on the other side.

        “Comparison is the death of joy.” ― Mark Twain

Today I was trying to help this little gecko get out of my screen room and into the backyard but in doing so I was scaring him. Watching him begin to make some panicky moves, thrusting himself at the same screen that was keeping him trapped, it suddenly struck me how life directs us towards our own freedom- yet the whole way there we resist and feel afraid. Only because we haven’t yet grown into our what we are becoming.  We keep throwing ourselves at the same screens that have kept us stuck because it’s all we know.  We want love, we want aliveness, we want to be seen, we want freedom but not the vulnerability, doubt and letting go that brings them about. To be truly yourself, who you were meant to be—your destiny if you like,  you need to peel off all the layers of non-you.

    We’re only envious of those already doing what we were made to do. 
    Envy is a giant, flashing arrow pointing us toward our destiny.”  
                            Glennon Doyle Melton

Next time you feel trapped or caught by circumstance, pause:  

        Open yourself to Life. 
        See what it might be showing you.
        Because something inside of you already knows the answer…

With love and kindness,

Anni

Bringing mindfulness to difficult emotions.

Rain can get a bad rap in life, especially when it is unexpected and you get caught without the right tools or when expectations are set for clear weather for a special outdoor event. In these situations RAIN is viewed as a nuisance and attention turns to wishing it away like the childhood song, “Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day”. Painful emotions can get the same bad rap and are often pushed away in preference of the pleasant emotions like joy, happiness, and love. Just as different weather is natural and all necessary to maintain a healthy environment, all emotions serve an important role in maintaining humans well-being. 

Emotions have three important functions, first emotions serve as  an internal communication system signaling if something or someone is safe, dangerous, or threatening. Emotions also communicates rapidly to others through our body language and serve as warning signals to others and also can signal the need for support.  Finally emotions serve to activate behavioral actions by energizing the body rapidly for fight, flight, or freeze. Although this is an over simplification of the function of emotions it is often important to challenge the beliefs that emotions are “bad” and see the value in moving toward them because it is natural to want difficult, painful, and intense emotions to go away. This pushing away can lead to highly automatic patterned ways of numbing or blocking emotions that provide short term relief, however can lead to long term consequences that are far more painful than the immediate experience of pain. An important caveat to mention is how it is natural to engage in strategies that block us from experiences of pain and trauma that is beyond our capacity to cope and process. It can be life saving and adaptive during times of trauma, so it is important to hold this in awareness as you go about exploring your patterned ways of blocking or cutting off from emotions. 

Imagine if you shielded your garden from rain. What would be the outcome? Perhaps many will say it is wise, especially if there are torrential down pours that would flood and down the last- so yes too much (unrelenting) RAIN can damage the plants, just as shielding them from all the rain water. Just like plants that need some rain, we need to feel some emotion, not too much or too out of control leaving us flooded , yet not cut off and numb.  We need to FEEL to learn to DEAL with emotions, meaning we learn skillful means to understand and modulate and they can serve the purpose to send and receive important information in guiding our choices and actions. 

My favorite mindfulness tool I learned from Tara Brach used to  increase emotional regulation by moving toward emotion in a modulated manner. The link is to a guided practice by Tara and can give you an opportunity to practice. An important instruction is to start with less intense emotions and recent events that you can build your skills to touch into emotions and then skillfully move away by shifting attention to other present moment objects of attention. This modulated way of touching into then, called touch and go can aid you in building up your tolerance and mastery. 

R: Recognize: Do a guided meditation to open to and recognize the emotions welling up in you. 

A: Accept or allow: saying “Yes” this is what is for me in this moment.

I: Get more intimate. Look and see how it feels in your body/ accept yourself just as you are right now, scared, angry, hurt, guilty, shameful. Notice thoughts, action urges, and the stories that go with what you are experience. Inquire: Is it true?

N: Nurturing presence:
Turning toward the experience with kindness and self-compassion. Tending to yourself like you would a small child who is suffering and allow yourself to feel your natural presence, which is ever present beneath the story we tell our self, the thoughts we have and the feelings in our body and mind.

Want to start even slower? Use light rain and start with simply recognizing and allowing a moment of sensing the emotion, perhaps naming and just acknowledging it and then shifting attention back to daily activities. This is helpful on the go to pause and practice so your ability to feel and deal grow stronger each day.

One final recommendation is when working with trauma, loss, or  deeply conditioned emotional reactions it is best to work with a mindfulness based therapist as a RAIN guide or partner. 

May you weather life one day at time and know you are not alone on this path,

Patty 

Mindfulness + Self kindness + Common humanity = Self Compassion

This past Monday I had  dental surgery to repair my front lower gums. I had to take several medications and received many shots to numb my gums for the two hour procedure. The surgery went smoothly, I’ve been recovering well, and I have  learned a lot from this experience. 

My face has been so puffy with only minor reductions day by day. It was kinda freaky and uncomfortable to look at myself because I looked so different. I couldn’t even open my mouth wide enough to smile or chew food (still not 100% there). 

The hardest part for me was the rest requirement and constant icing my cheeks. I am a person who loves to stay active and productive, but my body was not equipped to go-go-go. I rarely take naps and found this week I could easily take a 3 hour nap- haha it was crazy! This recovery has taught me how important rest is to healing and I developed greater compassion for those who live with a chronic mental, emotional, or physical issue. 

My mom brought awareness to me that surgery is traumatic to the body. I took fro granted that even just because I understood the purpose and necessity for surgery I never considered that the body treats surgery as an injury and would respond as if it was traumatized. This took me by surprise at first, but then it totally clicked! Immediately I had more compassion for my body and started to treat it with more loving-kindness by napping, experimenting with better icing techniques, practicing a trauma meditation each morning, mindfully eating each bite of food, letting go of personal pressures to move and get work done.  

At one point I started to whine as I moved toward the bed because my body was calling for more rest but my mind was frustrated and wanted to work on the projects I was hoping to complete this week. As I laid down it hit me, this is annoying, uncomfortable, but temporary right now and I suddenly experienced a wave of compassion for others who suffer far greater pain, loss, or trauma. If you are in the process of healing or trying to prioritize rest in your life I feel you! Just after a week of not being able to do my normal activities it really made me realize how grateful I am to have a healthy able body and mind. I extend my love out to all those who may be struggling too and hope you can find ways to bring some self compassion to your pain (my mom told me that what I did was self compassion in action!). I did not know mindfulness + self kindness + common humanity = self compassion. What I can tell you is that I shifted from a whiny, irritable state to a more accepting and patient state of mind and I felt a lot better in the moment even though nothing changed except my way of responding to my pain and discomfort. I am grateful to learn this formula and experience the shift that is possible to use in my life. 

With pure gratitude,

Lizzie

This is a poem I have shared countless times over the years in MBSR classes, MSC classes, and beginning meditation. Just like with sacred texts, each reading of a poem can reveal another layer of wisdom to the listener. Hearing this again on silent retreat in the context of growing in greater self-compassion, I heard ENOUGH – enough is enough! But then self-doubt starts to make me wonder – is it really enough?

What would it mean if enough were enough, if these words were enough, this breath, this sitting? Am I even really enough? Perhaps… I even have enough… know enough…have worked enough…done enough…given enough….and on and on. Nothing left to do, to get, to become. Finally….opening to the life that has been refused, neglected, pushed aside, avoided, or delayed. This sitting HERE, BEING, right HERE, NOW is enough. Whew! A huge sigh of relief overcomes my entire body and I start to relax, simply allowing myself to rest in being, ENOUGH.

Pause, and try it. Simply take a deep breath and as you exhale, let go of doing, striving, and grasping for just this moment. Allow this moment of being to be just enough. Repeat as many times as needed. What did you notice? Don’t worry if you happened to notice the same old patterns – perhaps a critical mind, anxiety or other difficult emotions. Instead, offer yourself encourage and praise for trying this activity out.

As with many other insights, they disappear far faster than they appear, and yet they also leave an imprint. This sense of enough has left a deep sense of knowing I am home in the breath. This path is the way home, it is home, and it is truly ENOUGH. Even as I write this post, I have a longing to hold onto the memory as if I already know I will forget it tomorrow…tonight…. or perhaps by dinner when I want more than I need. How I long to remember this throughout 2020, as I set forth “doing things differently”. I hope that I will recall this insight and gently and nonjudgmentally remind myself, ENOUGH!

I invite you to mediate on this poem and notice, without judgment, what arises. Feel free to journal or create expressive art during this practice.

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.
This opening to the life
We have refused again and again
Until now.
Until now.

A New Year’s Wish:

May you have the courage, strength, tools, support, and anything else you need to open to the life you have refused again and again.  Of course, all in your own time, at your own pace, and with a loving, compassionate heart. 

Trauma-Informed Note:

Please know that if you or someone you love has suffered trauma or attachment wounds it is quite common to have the opposite feeling that there is never enough, due to very early, unmet needs. Please know that this is also a feeling and a belief – the “never enough feeling”- and when that wounded part is healed and your needs are met, you can experience a moment of ENOUGH.

Happy New Year!

With love and gratitude,

Patty

Patty Thomas Shutt, founder of Sacred Treehouse, is a licensed psychologist and co-owner of Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches.  Dr. Shutt is passionate about helping others discover the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.  She offers Beginner Meditation & Advanced Meditation classes at Sacred Treehouse, in addition to Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Mindful Self-Compassion and various book studies throughout the year.

This holiday season brought all sorts of ups and downs, losses and gains, pain and pleasure, along with many stressors and extra pressures. So much to reflect and sit with on my annual silent retreat this week. The recent death of Ram Dass has brought yet another awakening to impermanence and the limit to my time with beloved family, friends, colleagues, and teachers, that gave way to deeper feelings of appreciation and longing to dive deeper into practice. Reading Jack Kornfield’s post on Instagram about Ram Dass was so beautiful and further fueled my desire to head off to retreat and practice with so many teachers in my program, including the beautiful guidance of Trish Magyari and Nancy Lasseter.   Driving home on Christmas day from the airport, my daughter initiated a game from her summer camp days of sharing your rose, your thorn, and your bud. As I reflected, it was clear that my rose was an unexpected joy of reconciliation and reconnection of my brothers. I awoke one morning at  5:30 am to hear their voices that were loud (not yelling, just their natural tone) and boisterous. My first reaction was anger and judgment, as the rest of the 17 people in the home wished to be sleeping in far later than 5:30 am. Then as I listened more closely, I heard it was just the two of them talking, connecting, and getting along – the first time in several years- and the noise became music to my ears. I rolled over with a smile. Later that day, I read Jack’s email on reconciliation and a meditation practice similar to a lovingkindness practice where one recites phrases and wishes. So I decided to include these phrases each day at the close of the year to invite reconciliation and open the heart toward all beings.    The invitation is to breathe in as you recite the line and slowly breathe out allowing the words to sink into your heart.  May all mothers and sons be reconciled. May all mothers and daughters be reconciled. May all fathers and sons be reconciled. May all fathers and daughters be reconciled. May all sisters and brothers be reconciled. May all husbands and wives be reconciled. May all partners and lovers be reconciled. May all family members be reconciled. May all employers and employees be reconciled. May all community members be reconciled. May all friends be reconciled. May all women be reconciled. May all men be reconciled. May all men and women be reconciled. May all religions be reconciled. May all races be reconciled. May all nations be reconciled. May all peoples be reconciled. May all creatures be reconciled. May all beings of every form be reconciled.  May you let all hurts and wrongdoings go and open your heart to a new beginning in 2020.   With love and generosity,   Patty

This time of year, whether you have a faith tradition or a family tradition of holiday celebrations, you can’t help but feel the energy in the air. You are probably busy shopping, hosting gatherings, or creating decorative or festive scenes at home, work, or out in the community. It is also a time where strong memories are aroused, both positive and negative, which may add to the already heightened emotions of the season. It is times like this that it is essential to take time:  to pause, to breathe, to reconnect to what anchors you  …so you are not swept up by the emotions and chaos.   For me, this means returning to my breath, simply bringing full attention to breathing in and breathing out…for as long as it takes to feel a sense of presence with myself and awareness of what I am doing, thinking, and feeling. There isn’t always time to pause long enough to feel centered; however, enough attention brought back to the breath throughout each day can keep me steady enough to navigate the rough spots of the season. I find that I can get myself to shore, where I can finally rest in the breath for a longer period of time. This can be the time you set aside to meditate, to walk, or to eat.   During this time of year, I need greater quiet in my home – less TV, less radio, less stimulation because of all the holiday activity. I need more breaks from people. I choose to walk by myself, take a nap, or read in my room. A meditation practice is like a reservoir of patience, understanding, and loving-kindness. Since you may find this reservoir running empty at this time of year, take some extra time to fill up! If you suddenly find yourself empty, no worries! You can always tap into this everlasting well by returning at any time to your practice.   I often think of my practice as a gift that gives endlessly to all. Before heading out to purchase gifts or enjoy holiday festivities, I take time to meditate and ground myself. If you find yourself getting caught up in the chaos, simply start again, and again, with a few mindful breaths!   Some instructions if you are new to mindfulness:   Mindfulness of the Breath  Still your body by sitting, standing, or lying down.Take a few deep full breaths and then allow your breath to be natural.Bring full attention to the sensations of the breath as it moves in and out of the nose. Allow all other thoughts and sensations to fall into the background.Continue to follow the natural flow of the breath with full attention.The mind will naturally wander to other sensations, or thoughts may arise and shift the attention away from the breath.Simply return back to the sensation of the breath, without judgment or pushing away thoughts. This simple practice, when repeated, can lead to greater focus, calm, and a clear mind.May you discover some moments of peace, calm, and joy this holiday season.   Tashi Deley,   Patty

Most spiritual, ethical, and social-emotional teachings all speak about the importance of speech in some way, shape, or form. I was inspired and guided Eknath Easwaran’s Words to Live By, in which he discusses the importance of three gatekeepers that help us strive toward “right speech”.  Before words pass our lips, each gatekeeper asks the following:
 

Is it true?
 
Is it kind?
 
Is it necessary?

 
Imagine if we considered all three of these before speaking!  We would discover a world of peace, quiet, and most importantly, kindness. When I found the above quote, it drove home the importance of our responsibility as parents, teachers, co-workers, and simply just living, breathing humans to imprint the truth with kindness and consideration.
 
Mindfulness of speech is a practice and for me a very important one to keep at daily.  Some might say I have a “truck driver’s mouth” (no insult intended toward a truck driver) and it is true at times that my speech is far from kind, necessary, or even true! This week is a reminder for myself and for others to pay attention to speech. Remember that it is not about having perfect speech or judging self or others, but rather paying attention to what you say with the gatekeepers in mind. Most importantly, we should reflect on how our words impact others around us.
 
Easwaran adds the caveat that there are times that we allow the third gatekeeper time off so we can engage in social connecting and casual conversation. It is these times that the other gatekeepers get lazy and revert back to automatic blabbering. So when you become aware, allow the gatekeeper to gently guide you back to presence of speech (which may require an apology or two) and start again.
 
As we venture deeper into the holiday season with greater stressors and triggers that bring out childish or automatic reactions, I ask you to consider the following:
 

At any moment, we can apologize and begin anew.

 
May this post oil the gates and allow them to operate on behalf of greater love, kindness, and peace.  May you consider the power of your speech and how you decide to use it in your daily life.
 
Tashi Deley,
 

Patty

Patty Thomas Shutt, founder of Sacred Treehouse, is a licensed psychologist and co-owner of Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches.  Dr. Shutt is passionate about helping others discover the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.  She offers Beginner Meditation & Advanced Meditation classes at Sacred Treehouse, in addition to Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Mindful Self-Compassion and various book studies throughout the year.