52 Weeks of Mindfulness

I have already heard the buzzing of the new year commitments by others to make changes in their behaviors! I too have been known, since my teens, to make New Years resolutions and LISTS of things I wanted to do in the new year. Not all were about changing something about myself-yet with each passing year it seemed like what changed was my growing dissatisfaction with myself and the January list was filled with trying to change the outside me.  

A few years ago, probably during a new years clean up I found my old journals and most were filled with the same old January entries of lofty goals and attempts to somehow make myself better, more attractive, more lovable by other peoples standards. 

This year I did not make any such commitments and only after a recent gathering of Sangha members, in our weekly mindfulness practice group did I discover what it is I am going to focus attention on this year. 

It is kindness. Not just kindness to people who are kind and loving, but to all people, animals, all living things-with an extra heaping of kindness for those who are unkind. They need more! 

Kindness comes in many shapes, sizes, colors, and combinations. It can be as simple as a smile, an extra moment to pause and  look into someones eyes when you say hello and smile with your eyes, your mouth, and your heart.

Kindness can be giving someone the benefit of the doubt or some grace in delivering what they promised and may be struggling to deliver on time or in the manner you expected, 

I am not letting kindness stop there-oh no! I am including myself in the circle of kindness and offering some grace for not delivering this blog last month during a very challenging and hectic month. You were all on my mind and I have many half written blog articles, but not one was completed and I am letting go of the unreasonable demands I place on myself, at least for now.

Self kindness can be a challenging practice without “mindfulness” because our negative self critical thoughts can be so automatic AND unconscious, unless we slow down and shine the  light of attention on them. This is a “practice” that often requires support and I really mean it is a PRACTICE and can take dedication and support to begin to see the magic that happens when we soften our heart toward ourself.

Mother Theresa is said to have this poem written on her door, likely as a reminder even to her to practice  kindness under all conditions. Here is a brief excerpt:
 

Mother Theresa Poem- Do it anyway

People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway. 

To read more of this poem click here: Do it anyway

With the consistent practices from Mindful Self Compassion (MSC) over the past four years, I have grown in self compassion and kindness and discovered that the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I am to others. Want to join me in the adventure of becoming kinder (to yourself)?

I am offering an online short course of Mindful Self compassion (MSC) starting Tuesday February 1st at 7:15 pm EST to 8:30 pm. It will run 6 weeks and deliver a portion of teh teachings and practices from the intensive MSC 8 week course. Even if you took MSC you may find this a great refresher and way to reinforce your prior learning. 

To register for MSC Short Course- Click here!

May you be kind and loving to all beings (including yourself),,

 With Love and Gratitude,

 Patty and The Sacred Treehouse Faculty

 
Need support in overcoming obstacles? Just email me us at [email protected] to set up individualized mindfulness coaching or join our upcoming classes of MBSR or MSC for guided practices in a supportive community.

Go to www.sacredtreehouse.org

Patty Thomas Shutt, founder of Sacred Treehouse, is a licensed psychologist and co-owner of  Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches .   Dr. Shutt is passionate about helping others discover the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.  She offers Beginner Meditation & Advanced Meditation classes at Sacred Treehouse, in addition to Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, Mindful Self-Compassion and various book studies throughout the year.

Have you ever noticed that the word “Thanksgiving” is actually a conjunction of two equally important words — “thanks” and “giving”? I always assumed this duo meant “giving thanks,” but in recent days I have come to think about it in a bit of a different way. I have begun to see that it is not just “thanks” that we can give this time of year, but that it is the act of “giving” in and of itself (giving anything really) that can elicit feelings of thankfulness and gratitude. 

 

It doesn’t surprise me that gratitude and generosity go hand in hand. Last week in sangha Patty talked about how when we cultivate a consistent gratitude practice we find ourselves feeling more willing to give and share with others. What a coincidence, sangha marveled together, that the month heralded as a time of giving at its finest follows the month when we give thanks! 

 

Science shows, in fact, that there is a connection between gratitude and giving or helping others. For example, people who are grateful are more connected to their communities, more willing to help others and have a strong sense of purpose. Even simply expressing thanks can motivate “paying it forward,” keeping the reciprocal cycle of giving and receiving alive. Romantic relationships can benefit from appreciation too … as partners who are acknowledged and appreciated tend to both show increased appreciation in return AND have a tendency to work harder in the relationship. 

 

In this cycle of generosity and gratitude, giving and thanks have a bidirectional relationship — one fueling the other. Think about it — the more grateful you feel, the more content and accepting you are of what you have, and the less entitled you may feel to having, getting or needing more. These feelings of humility and contentment can lead to a desire to help or be of service to others, which can often lead to feeling valued and important, especially if thanks are expressed by the recipient of your kindness and generosity. Ultimately, when we feel like we have had a positive impact on the world around us, we find ourselves back in a place of deep appreciation and gratitude. 

 

I frequently talk about how one of the most powerful outpourings of a regular and consistent gratitude practice is joy. Living in what Patty referenced in sangha last week as a “state of gratitude” can lead to an increase in various pleasant and connecting emotions — happiness, awe, contentment and as we’ve reflected upon here, generosity. I wonder if any of you have noticed an uptick in these over the last few weeks if you have been following along on this month of gratitude practice? What else have you noticed? How can you take this feeling of gratefulness into the winter holidays? What do you think might change if you do? 

 

As always, share your stories with us at @sacredtreehouse on social media, or email me at nikki@sacredtreehouse.org. 
 

Grateful for you all, every single day— 

Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty 

Nicole Davis is a licensed psychologist practicing at  Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches .   Dr. Davis starts with the core belief that each person already has everything they need to live a life of joy and fulfillment, and that therapy is just a process of uncovering their inherent wholeness. Dr. Davis gently invites her clients to uncover their strengths in a safe and non-judgmental environment. Dr. Davis completed MBSR facilitator training through the Center for Mindfulness at UCSD. Dr. Davis is also a 200-hour trained yoga teacher registered with Yoga Alliance