“When you resist, the energy has no place to go. It gets stuck in your psyche and seriously affects you. It blocks your heart’s energy flow and causes you to feel closed and less vibrant…. This is the human predicament.”
Mickey Singer, “The Untethered Soul.”
Last week I was on spiritual retreat that because of covid 19 needed to be held online. I was disappointed not to be in nature at a beautiful retreat center but was determined to make the most of the time to go inward. Then through a series of unexpected events, I ended up having my home space to myself. I was instantly freed up of any expectations upon me. But as I began to settle into myself I became aware how filled with bodily tension, non-stop mental rehearsing, and a deep over-extended fatigue in me. The sense of peace I had so deeply longed for was seemingly out of reach— at times wildly out of reach. So much for spiritual upliftment! I felt more like five miles of bad, stormy road than a peaceful person on The Path….
I just kept staying with the teaching, which thankfully returned us over and over towards our true being and essence; that which is unchangeable. Despite how compelling our lives are, sometimes blissfully and sometimes painfully, what is occurring is in fact coming and going. We are not the series of experienced events and resulting sensations/thoughts but in fact we are that which witnessesthe events and experiences coming and going. So how to connect deeply with this understanding and stay connected to it? I was pondering this when a monsoon rainstorm arrived.
Without thinking I jumped into the pool with eyes just above the waterline to remain immersed in the warm pool and suddenly my eyes landed on the impact each drop of rain was making on the waters’ surface. Because of the force of the rain the drops were impacting the surface of the pool strongly, resulting in water bursting upward with each drop. I sat stunned, realizing that this is what the teacher was taking about! Our essence is like a pool of awareness, impacted by events, even temporarily seeming changed by them, but in fact everything is just occurring—rising and falling and returning again. I watched the projections of water rise up, take on the colors around them, shape into tiny geysers and then as quickly as they rose, return again to be absorbed back into the pool waters; completely gone.
Rupert Spira says:
“….awareness is our true body. See clearly that all the sensations that we normally consider to be (impacting) our body are actually free floating in the limitless, borderless space of awareness. Awareness is the true body, the true ‘container’ of all things, and everything is made out of its own transparent, luminous substance….”
Suddenly the previous experiences of the past few days just fell away. A full, spacious, intimate, knowing, peaceful presence seeped into the crevices which only moments before had been filled with pain, tension, resistance and fear. I understood with absolute clarity that our primary goal is to stay open to the fullness of our Being, then from thisplace become open to whatever life is presenting. Doing this changes the lens on all that is perceived, thereby changing the resulting thoughts, beliefs, and storylines. Eventually building a stronger and stronger connection to our imperturbable Essence.
Become the pool of awareness,
watch and observe
rain, sun, wind come and go,
It’s Love in action.
Anni and the Sacred Treehouse faculty
Anni Johnston, LMHC-S, BC-D/MT, CEDS, CYT works at Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Movement Therapist. In addition to her therapy work, Anni offers weekly Beginner and Advanced Meditation classes at Sacred Treehouse. She also offers book studies and special workshops throughout the year.