Aldo Gonzalez

“Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.” Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati I can’t count the number of times I was asked by friends and loved ones what I needed when my father passed away several years ago. I didn’t know … What did I need? At that time in my life I wasn’t even sure I knew how to find out what I needed, let alone ask for or receive help. I had not yet discovered the power of mindfulness … I didn’t yet know that there is a fundamental wisdom within me, ready and waiting to be heard and heeded.  I have had several other deeply felt losses since then … my beloved maternal grandmother, my favorite uncle … and mindfulness helped me access a deep knowing within me of how to care for myself and others during these times of grief. This knowing has also been with me during happier times, and serves as my ever-present lighthouse — piercing through the fog of busy-ness of the mind and chatter from external pressures, and illuminating the way to equanimity, acceptance and even ease.  Patty and I, and the rest of our Sacred Treehouse faculty, often say that the practice of mindfulness is pretty simple. Easy — not so much. But with commitment and consistency you too can access your own lighthouse of wisdom, so that you can effectively care for yourself during both joyful AND challenging times. The first of the letters of our mnemonic this month, the “C” in CARE refers to “clarity”, which we cultivate through the practice of exercising the mental muscle of intentional attention. As our sixth sense of awareness sharpens we begin to see more clearly what our bodies and hearts need to function effectively in our day-to-day world. We can also more easily access the little joys that speckle the landscapes of our lives.  Want to learn more about how to practice mindfulness and find that clarity of mind and heart? Join me in September (in person!) for our fall offering of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), an evidenced-based course on the fundamentals of cultivating a mindfulness practice. You won’t regret it! In the meantime, try the below brief practice that is adapted from a Dialectical Behavior Therapy skill called “Wise Mind.” And tune into the wisdom, that lighthouse, that is already within YOU. With Metta — Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty

Listen to Wise Mind Practice Here

Click here to learn more about MBSR

I breathe in, and I know I am breathing in. I breathe out, and I know I am breathing out. Breathing … and allowing this breath … and this one … to soothe me from the inside. Noticing the rhythm of the body breathing. Nurturing, nourishing, rocking myself like a child in my own arms. Turning towards myself with tenderness, the breath softening the rough edges of stress, anxiety and pain, like water washing over stones. Finding stillness, even if just for right now, and welcoming myself back to myself. Breathing, and then asking silently in my mind: “what do you need, Nikki? What do you need right now, in this moment?”  This is my practice.  It has taken me a long time to cultivate this simple practice of self care — one of several I’ve added to my repertoire over the last few years. It has taken even longer to put down what I thought self care was “supposed” to be, or beliefs about what it wasn’t supposed to be.  I have learned that taking care of myself is simply that — taking an opportunity to show myself care. Caring for me by meeting my own needs. By listening in to the wisdom of my body and emotions. By honoring my limits. By even loving myself, if I dare. That last one took especially long to lean into, loving myself, and even still is hard when a torrent of self doubt and judgment storm though my heart.  At retreat this past week, one of my teachers described each of us as buckets … buckets that we must keep full of love and nourishment in order to experience our lives with presence and connection.  She invited us to consider that only once our own bucket is full can we effectively care for others from the overflow. Sometimes I feel like my bucket has a hole … or several … that I am constantly plugging up in haste as I run from one task to the other. Self care can fill the holes … the holes being the things in my life that are unnecessary drains on my energy (for example for me that means saying yes when I want to say no). And self care can also fill our bucket once the holes are plugged … filling us up with love and goodness to the point that our bucket runneth over.  This month, as the long dog days of summer are upon us, I invite you to redefine what self care means to you. Put more SELF into self care … finding the ways unique to you that fill your bucket. Here is a fun mnemonic that we will be reviewing each week this month that outlines four simple steps to discovering your own self care practice.  C — Clarity, or the process of becoming aware of our needs based on what is in the present  A — Affection, or tending to the garden of our hearts, minds and bodies from a place of love R — Removing Obstacles, including filling the holes like I mentioned above or removing what may be in the way of practicing effective self care on the regular E — and Evolve, or allowing our self care practices to be in an ongoing state of evolution as our needs change With Metta — Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty Walk Slowly  by Danna Faulds It only takes a reminder to breathe, a moment to be still, and just like that, something in me settles, softens, makes space for imperfection. The harsh voice of judgment drops to a whisper and I remember again that life isn’t a relay race; that we will all cross the finish line; that waking up to life is what we were born for. As many times as I forget, catch myself charging forward without even knowing where I’m going, that many times I can make the choice to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk slowly into the mystery

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This month I have set an intention on slowing down, to breathe, to wake up, to feel, and to just be present with all the beings around me. Everything is changing, and yet it is familiar. As. I sat outside by the pool, ALONE, it struck me how so much has changed, as our eldest daughter departed for her new adventure of creating a life in Hawaii and our youngest is heading back to college treading her own path. Being alone by the pool felt so familiar, just 23 years ago I sat there- same pool, same intention, and so much has happened and I see how things have come full circle. 

Slowing down this month has been prompted by a tiny voice inside that started to yell a bit louder in recent months. There is not enough time or energy to do all the things my mind creates and it’s OK. Although I love the ideas I have and have fun sometimes imagining them, I am acutely aware that they have become distractions or more like weights. Some of my dear ones around me will be glad I am slowing down this idea factory, or at least not chasing each one like a cat chasing a mouse. 

Many students in our Treehouse community know that Nikki and I are going on silent retreat this week and when you read this we will be several days into slowing down, cultivating stillness-not just for the purpose or intention of slowing down and nourishing our mind, body and spirit, but also for making space to wake up out of conditioning. It is in stillness, quiet, and times of retreat that I can return to the very important work of releasing the conditioning that was formed, not just in childhood but generations before. The Buddha’s teaching of the third noble truth, that we can be FREE from the suffering, means the suffering that our human experiences bring can be released It is this reason I choose to practice and make space so I can think, move, act, and become my true self. Again, those close to me are cheering me on…hoping for me to return liberated from all my shortcomings. I too wish it were that easy, yet I trust that the easy way is not THE WAY.

If you cannot get away for 7 day retreat, make your own. Start small with just one full day. Here are some tips to help you. 

10 tips form Nikki on creating a retreat at home

1.Plan in advance — give yourself time to put your retreat together and to make sure you can go into this time feeling like your to-do list isn’t going to be looming.

2.Carve out the time — put it on your calendar and do not make any other commitments.

3.Ask for help — I know this is a hard one! If you have others (humans, pets, plants) that you are responsible for, see if you can ask someone else to take the helm for the duration of your retreat. 

4.Tell the people close to you (the ones most likely to be your distractions!) — that way the will have a heads up that you won’t be available for that period of time.

5.Ask yourself what foods will be most nourishing and shop beforehand. Maybe even make a tentative menu, of course with the flexibility to make choices about what your body NEEDS and heart desires as the moment arises. 

6.Make a commitment to eliminate electronics. This isn’t a hard and fast rule — if you have children or others that you are responsible for and need to have the phone nearby for emergencies, it makes sense to check it from time to time or to have the ringer on. An intention of retreat is often ease, and if having a hard and fast rule of no electronics will add additional stress then mindfully make choices around them. That said, movies, television social media, and the like might be distractions from the reason you have decided to take retreat.

7.To that end, set an intention for your retreat and return to it again and again throughout the retreat. Use your intention as a filter through which you make decisions from moment to moment. 

8.Remember, you can’t make a mistake. If you choose silence and find yourself speaking to a neighbor on your sense and savor walk, notice it with nonjudgment and simply begin again. 

9. Select a sort of playlist on insight timer, youtube or other apps like CALM to use as you move through the day. MBSR graduates can click here: Sacred Practices that are on our website and may help you return or deepen your practice. 

10. Make a schedule that allows for sitting, movement, eating, and end the day with a gratitude practice for giving yourself the gift of presence. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Patty and Nikki The Sacred Treehouse Faculty

 Need support in overcoming obstacles? Just email me us at [email protected] to set up individualized mindfulness coaching or join our upcoming classes of MBSR or MSC for guided practices in a supportive community.

Go to www.sacredtreehouse.org

The theme of this month is using mindfulness to create greater balance. Originally it was going to focus on another topic all month, yet all around me I kept hearing from loved ones to slow down and I kept receiving  messages from the universe to slow down or else! I heard the warnings, and I even felt some- yet I did not head them So as nature would have it, I  piled up a bunch of consequences as I just pushed on ignoring the signs, the signals and the pleas of loved ones.  Today when I sat in meditation I asked a simple question, “what have I been ignoring?” What arose was the instant replay of the messages I have been getting and ignoring….SLOW DOWN!  Restoring balance to my life, my relationships, my bank account all require me to slow down. So I want to share the decision that I made today because I trust the wisdom of balance and know in my wise mind that I am far from my middle path. I gave myself permission to move through the day like a turtle, starting first with my choice of morning beverage, continuing with my breakfast, my walk, the choice of activities and so on. By mid day I had finally slowed down enough to relax fully into a day of being slow, on purpose, to reset my mind, my body, and my soul.  You are receiving this email much later than usual because I chose to slow down and rebalance my energy today. My intention is to take a few more turtle days until I can revamp my schedule and reassign some responsibilities and redesign a life of balance. A few questions to ponder….. 1. Am I moving to fast through my life? 2. Do I cram too much into my days? 3. Am I adding more to my to do list than I am taking off? 4. Am I occupying myself all day with busy work? Perhaps…. 1. Am I laying in bed all day convinced there is nothing worth doing? 2. Do I avoid my tasks until it is five alarm fire? 3. Do I attempt to get others to do things while I lay listlessly on the couch? 4. Do I put off living waiting to have teh energy to move? Maybe…. You are living balanced, moving fast when you need to catch teh garbage man or slow when you empty the boiling pot. The wisdom in action of moving and living in balance can grow from our meditation practice and also requires incorporating supportive daily habits. For me, slowing down has been a lifetime of work, and I am pleased to support others in doing some inquiry this month about your current state of balance and how you can restore if needed.  Join our facebook group and share what you discover and do not hesitate to reach out if you need support getting back to the middle.  With love and gratitude for all those who keep nudging me, Patty and The Sacred Treehouse Faculty

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On my weekend play-getaway trip earlier this month I came across this delightful book (PLAY:  Ideas, Exercises and Little Ways to Add More Fun to Everyday, by M. H. Clark) at a local college bookstore. I had been looking and looking for something that spoke to the important role that play holds for the average adult — someone like me — who may need a reminder or two both about the “why” play can be a healthy (even essential!) activity for us, and also a little guidance about the “how” to fit it into our lives. While not my typical literary go-to (I much prefer either non-fiction explorations of topics of interest for me, or psychological thrillers that are either real or made-up, not picky), I’d been hard pressed to find a book about play that wasn’t geared towards educators or parents wanting to dig their teeth into something that may support them in facilitating or understanding play in children so I took a look-see into this journal-style activity book about play. And what a sweet treat it was! Also, the serendipity was not lost on me that I discovered this little gem while engaging in a weekend filled with intentional and mindful play! Because the type-A gal in me loves lists and check boxes no matter the topic, one of my favorite parts of the book was a list of types of play that may interest the reader. The intention of the list was not to necessarily try each of the activities one-by-one, but rather to identify which activity will make me feel good and then allow this suggestion to help me figure out what types of play (indoor/outdoor, individual/team, physically active/quiet and sedentary) I may prefer and then coming up with additional ideas of things to try. What I discovered about myself is that I prefer solitary play, and activities that also involve learning or trying something new. I made a commitment both to try some new recipes out on my family (yes cooking can be fun!) and also to maybe take a gardening class to learn more about how to plant and take care of a window box of flowers I have been wanting for outside of my kitchen window.  Do you know the types of play that you enjoy? Take a look at the list below and check off the activities that appear fun or interesting to you, even if you notice resistance to actually doing them. What emotions arise when you imagine engaging in each of these activities?  What do you make of the resistance if it is showing up? How much of your reactions are based upon beliefs or prior experiences you have with these types of play? How might beginners mind help you to discover new activities that you may enjoy? Let us know!  Play a simple outdoor game with others (cornhole, boxball/foursquare)Paint or decorate a birdhouseBlow bubbles outsideTry a new recipeSing in a local choirTry Tai Chi or yogaHand write and decorate a letter to a friendScrapbookPlay a simple indoor game with others (hide and seek, Uno)Join an adult recreational sports league As always, with so much gratitude, Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty

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There were so many other things I could have been doing this weekend … catching up on work, tinkering with things around my house, laundry. Instead, I trekked to Western New York with some girlfriends for a nature-based retreat, and carved time out of my hectic life for play. I climbed massive rocks and kissed a garden gnome at a state park nearby, and ventured shoeless into a trickling creek. I pretended to be a coyote, walking intentionally, playfully and with curiosity, and I made friends with a beautiful, flowering tree. And I laughed and laughed at myself when I mistook the twinkling lights from headlights of passing cars as fireflies. It was joyous and freeing. I was really present in each moment as it arose. And as I sit here reflecting on my weekend in the mountains, I am also turning inward … noticing a sense of calm underneath the collected excitement and gratitude gathered throughout the day. And I feel more alive than I have – truly alive and aware and whole – in a long long time. How can you give yourself the gift of surrender to play this month? How can you allow yourself to reawaken to the wonder in the world? As always, with so much gratitude, Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty

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When was the last time you laughed so hard your belly ached? Or you surrendered yourself fully to painting or singing? Doodled? Daydreamed? Danced? Fully enveloped in the wonder of the moment without letting the mind carry you away into your responsibilities and to-do lists? Allowed yourself to PLAY? So what do I mean by play? Play, simply, is an activity engaged in purely for fun and recreation. No particular goal other than doing something for the purposes of enjoyment. Dr. Stuart Brown from the National Institute for Play defines play as “something done for its own sake … it is voluntary, its pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome.” He further refers to play as a particular “state of being.” Seems simple, right? Actually not so much.  I know for myself, surrendering to play doesn’t happen as often as I’d like. Now that my kids are older, I easily make the excuse that my time is better spent in a “more productive” way … I type these words as I see my phone notifying me of work messages and my washer calling to me with the familiar switch-me-to-the-dryer ding. So much to do each day, and so many tasks requiring what feels like immediate attention. And then my attention drifts to the sunlight bursting through the trees outside my window … sparkling on the azure blue water in my pool. The mermaid inside me awakens, longing to swim, dive and float in the sunshine. Soaking in each glorious moment. I ponder my options, and return to typing … making a commitment to play sometime later today. All work and no play … well you know the rest. In fact, play, frequently associated with child development, is actually an essential activity for adult emotional wellbeing too. Incorporating play into our daily lives can positively affect our bodies (often involving coordination and movement), our minds (improving memory and concentration) and mood (increasing the release of endorphins). It sometimes offers opportunities for collaboration and socialization, and other times can be a chance for much needed relaxation and ease.  I read something recently that our culture is currently suffering from play deprivation, which for both adults and children can lead to a variety of negative consequences, according to experts. So how can our mindfulness practice help reintegrate play into our lives? The foundational mindfulness attitudinal tenet of beginners mind is a great place to start. Try seeing the world through the eyes of a child, and look at everything as an opportunity for something more than autopilot may dictate. Also, noticing when the mind wanders into fantasy or imagination — this may be a signal that you need some time to let go of the day-to-day grind and engage in some spontaneous unstructured play. Remember, play is a state of being — voluntary, enjoyable, timeless — not something we do. How can you find more time to play in your life? Let us know!  As always, with so much gratitude, Nikki and the Sacred Treehouse faculty

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When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I AM that is deeper than name and form. You are the knowing, not the condition that is known. – Eckhart TolleWe can deepen our connection to our innermost self by practicing daily meditation AND by bringing mindful attention to activities in everyday life. Mindfulness in daily life means we intentionally, direct full attention to what we are doing, without judgment. This “one pointed attention” I shared in the blog article last week, that eliminated my allergy to doing the dishes, has also resulted in gaining greater joy from simple daily routines.  As the momma of two adorable dogs who love the outdoors, and require daily exercise, offers me the opportunity to walk them with  mindful attention, rather than talking on the phone or listening to music. This has become a daily ritual that brings immediate joy- by uttering a simple question, “Want to go for a walk?” or the jumping for joy begins as soon as they see me put on my sneakers. The excitement and joy they express reminds me of what is available to me when I walk with mindful attention. Our pets can be helpful teachers and for me I have discovered how much beauty, peace, and joy that is available when I am present, fully present, on those daily walks.  No pets? No worries! Take yourself for a mindful walk and open to nature, your neighborhood, your street, or yard. Slow it down and notice what you see, hear, feel, and smell. If you walk the same path each day, bring along beginners mind to help you see with fresh eyes. Be the puppy dog, or child who leaves the house without all the mental baggage and experiences joy every time they venture outside. Leave all your stirrings behind and simply walk. Download the Walking Meditation Guide below and use as a journal prompt (print or download it) to take along on a walk or enjoy some post walk time to journal what you noticed and experienced.Make time to step outside fro walkObserve the objects: shapes, sizes, colorsOpen all your senes to sell, listen, touch and seeNotice how you feel in your body as you sense and savor on your walk.If you live local, come join us Friday May 21 at the Swinton Community Garden for a sense and savor walk through an edible garden in East Delray. Want to learn more about nourishing your mind and body in nature? Check out our 8 week eco-mindfulness course and sign up now with the early bird registration.  With Love and Gratitude,   Patty and The Sacred Treehouse Faculty     Need support in overcoming obstacles? Just email me us at [email protected] to set up individualized mindfulness coaching or join our upcoming class of Eco-Mindfulness and we nourish ourself in nature. Look for upcoming MBSR and MSC classes this fall and come practice in a supportive community. Go to www.sacredtreehouse.org

Download Walking Meditation Guide

Being mindful in daily life is the point of a daily meditation practice! This month join us as we explore the many ways we bring our practice off the cushion into our relationships, our work, and even the ordinary activities of daily life. 

My first meditation teacher, Eknath Easwaran, taught an 8-point program where one of the eight points was bringing one minded attention to simple everyday activities.This was later cultivated through DBT skills training, known as one-minded attention and over the years I have shared this skill with hundreds of clients in our psychotherapy practice. 

What is one-pointed or one-minded attention? It is simple and yet difficult at times, especially when we have been conditioned to live a life of multi-tasking. It means placing full attention on the present moment and if engaging in an activity such as walking, it means being present with the activity of walking. All attention is placed on the body walking, the sensations, the surface, the body moving through space. Bringing mindful attention to walking, eating, cleaning, driving, listening, cooking, and on and on.

The practice of one-minded attention can be cultivated through setting the intention to bring mindfulness to whatever we are doing in the present moment. A special challenge can be to bring it to things that we often do on “autopilot”, or we dislike doing. I have been practicing this for the past 20 years and have discovered the joy that exists in simple things and truth be told- transformed some of my less than favorable habits and changed my relationship to things that I once avoided at all costs. 

My mother would be shocked to read this and learn that I have spent years now practicing doing dishes with one-minded attention. As a child, I would disappear into the bathroom for a LONGTIME to avoid doing dishes and had a serious aversion to touching dirty dishes. My mother would joke that I would get a lifetime supply of paper plates as wedding gifts because she was sure I would never use dishes. Bringing mindfulness to doing dishes conditioned me to enjoy this time and even enjoy doing it in solitude, just like a meditation. 

Between mindfulness training and giving birth to an avid environmentalist I no longer use paper plates or single use items and have learned to conserve water as I scrub the dishes. This is all an unexpected change that came about through setting a simple intention to bring mindfulness to doing the dishes over several years- yes that is correct, “SEVERAL YEARS”.  It was not an overnight change and yet, if you ask my mom, it was deemed impossible at one time in my early life. 

I have so many other stories to share on how this simple, yet challenging skill, can transform your relationship with everyday life and even turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.

If you are on facebook please join our Facebook group above and see more about practicing mindfulness in daily life. Share your experiences with our community of like-minded individuals and stay tuned for more tips this month.

With Love and Gratitude,

Patty and The Sacred Treehouse Faculty

 Need support in overcoming obstacles? Just email me us at [email protected] to set up individualized mindfulness coaching or join our upcoming classes of MBSR or MSC for guided practices in a supportive community.

Go to www.sacredtreehouse.org

My return to nature sprung from my eldest daughter, Lizzie’s,  relentless pursuit of outdoor adventure and more importantly her passionate quest to understand and protect our precious planet. She quickly out grew the traditional summer camp and discovered Sustainable Summer as a way to learn and enjoy outdoor adventure all at the same time. Her trips to Ecuador and Costa Rica introduced her to camp counselors, Haley Pangman and Skyeler Congdon, a dynamic duo of nature loving explorers. Lizzie’s love of these counselors, the endless stories, and the profound impact they had on her pursuit of knowledge and desire to integrate nature into her career prompted me to connect with them given the focus of this months blog on mindfulness in nature.  It took some time to connect given their busy schedules and remote living on two separate farms in Colorado. Despite Skyeler’s lack of wifi connection, we managed to channel his energy and enthusiasm this past Monday, as I was joined by Lizzie Shutt and Haley to discuss the impact of leading groups and facilitating learning and growing through reconnection to nature.  I hope you tune in and take some time to enjoy this interview and try out  the mindfulness activity Haley shares at the end on exploring how a simple walk in nature can provide a natural mirror to our inner life of emotions, thoughts, and intentions. I especially love how she guides us in marking a clear beginning and end to the walk as a way to contain the experience. I am trying to be vague so you will listen to her beautiful soul.                    Listen here: Haley with Patty and Lizzie Shutt Learning more about Haley and her pursuit of a Masters Degree in counseling and a focus on eco therapy, especially her love of the ocean, made it clear that this was just beginning of our time together. As many of you know me, the wheels were turning and ideas starting flowing.  So stay tuned to see how the seeds that were planted that day, take root, grow, and perhaps flower into healing opportunities with Sacred Treehouse and Therapeutic Oasis.  See more about Haley below and join our facebook group or join the email list to be the first to receive information on our offerings and our upcoming 8 week virtual course of mindfulness in nature starting June 12, 2021. With Love and Gratitude,   Patty and The Sacred Treehouse Faculty     Need support in overcoming obstacles? Just email me us at [email protected] to set up individualized mindfulness coaching or join our upcoming classes of MBSR or MSC for guided practices in a supportive community. Go to www.sacredtreehouse.org

Click here to listen to our recent interview with Haley Pangman

Haley Pangman Haley is a graduate student in Counseling at Humboldt State University and currently resides on a regenerative farm in western Colorado. As a budding therapist, she is focused on deepening her relationship with Ecotherapy and Rites of Passage work. Haley finds her purpose through helping people explore and connect with the vastness of their inner and outer landscapes. She is also passionate about rock climbing, which she considers a form of radical self-care! Inspired by her work with the School of Lost Borders, Haley hopes to bring seeds of unconditional support and hope to the diverse communities she meets. Haley believes in the power of nature, people included, with her whole heart, and is committed to leaving footprints of compassion wherever she goes!